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Finding Strength in Service: A Caregiver’s Reflection
Being a full-time caregiver for my wife is the most important responsibility but it’s also one of the hardest roles I’ve ever had. Seeing someone you love suffer, day after day, is incredibly painful—especially when there’s little you can do to alleviate it.
Recently, I had an opportunity to step away for a day because of our extended support network to help my friend who had been devastated by Hurricane Helene. It left his property with 28 inches of seawater inside for a day before it reseeded. The building, which had been his father’s, housed precious treasures—hunting, fishing, and woodworking items that carried irreplaceable memories. Just months after losing his father, and after days of working tirelessly to clean up the mess, he was physically and emotionally drained.
I went out to help him—tearing down soaked drywall, hauling out ruined insulation, and salvaging what we could. For the first time in a long while, I was able to make an immediate impact. I wasn’t just sitting helplessly on the sidelines. I was doing something tangible, and it felt incredible. His family’s gratitude lifted me, but more than that, it reminded me of my own strength.
Caregiving is exhausting. Watching my wife day by day drains the soul. But helping my friend gave me back something I didn’t even realize I was losing: a renewed sense of purpose. Yes, being there for my wife is an act of love, but stepping into the storm-ravaged aftermath of Hurricane Helene reinvigorated me. It was as if this moment of service gave me back a piece of myself—a part I desperately needed to continue being strong for her.
Sometimes, finding strength in unexpected places is exactly what we need to carry on. I’m grateful to have been able to help my friend, but more than that, I’m thankful for how that day helped me be a better caregiver for my wife. After all, to give love and support, you have to make sure you’re not completely depleted yourself. Hurricane Helene may have wreaked havoc, but in a strange way, it also became a catalyst for renewal. It reminded me that even when the storm seems endless, there’s always a way to find hope and purpose again.
A Veteran’s Journey: Overcoming Fears and Finding Support
Helping veterans get the VA benefits they deserve can be challenging, especially when they feel uncertain or worried about the process. Recently, a close friend of mine, a Purple Heart awardee, experienced a life-changing outcome by appealing his VA disability rating.
After retiring more than a decade ago, my friend was stuck at an 80% disability rating. For years, he expressed the same concerns I hear from so many veterans:
- “I don’t want to game the system.”
- “I only served a few years; I don’t deserve more.”
- “There’s nothing seriously wrong with me.”
- “I hate dealing with anything related to the government.”
But after speaking with him many many times and seeing the success of other veterans I’ve helped (5), he finally decided to take the next step. Here’s what he did:
Key Steps That Made the Difference:
- Getting the Right Help:
I suggested he visit his State VHA Representative. It was a crucial step that made sure his appeal was handled correctly and with all the necessary documentation. - Using What Was Already There:
Since he already had a disability rating, most of the needed information was already on file. He only needed to add a few things that were missed earlier, which made his appeal smoother and quicker. - Knowing Where and How to File:
The outcome of an appeal can often depend on where and how you submit it. Making sure all the paperwork was accurate and complete helped speed up the process. - Pushing Past the Emotional Hurdles:
Many veterans feel anxious about appealing, thinking it’s somehow dishonorable or that they’re asking for too much. But these benefits are not a handout—they’re earned through service and sacrifice.
The Result:
In just under six weeks, his disability rating went from 80% to 100%. This change means more financial security for his family and gives his wife the chance to consider retirement. They both chose careers focused on helping others rather than financial rewards, so this increase makes a big difference in their lives.
If you’re a veteran, don’t let fears or misconceptions hold you back. Get the support you need, and remember—you’ve earned these benefits through your service. Your well-being matters, and there are people ready to help you every step of the way.
“Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.” – Roger Crawford
Planting Blueberries: A Family Tradition of Health and Renewal
My wife and I wanted blueberries for so many reasons, health, self preservation, annual renewal, family activities, fun and most importantly life.
We have 6 plants for our current six children: Jared Alexis Jacob Michael Cayla and Mikayla. Two different varieties, Emerald and Jewel as you need at least two different types to have berries. There are so many parallels in life.
Everything came together today to get them planted. There is no better day to plant them.
You can say it’s not the right season, they are not big enough, or your Ph is off, but to us it doesnt matter as now is the time.
As they read the names on TV I am galvanized in the remembrance that the beauty and wonder of life is fleeting but must continued.
Doing the Right Thing
I was sweating, feeling sick to my stomach. I told the examiner and my wife that I couldn’t do this interview.
I left the secure sterile Veterans Benefits Administration office and went to the waiting room and began to pace. Thinking how I hated being here. How I was such a failure for even entertaining this stupid suggestion of reopening my disability claim with the VA after I listed to Jarmon.
I was trying to sell a BBQ Grill to Jarmon at a large chain home improvement store in early November 2023. I worked in the Inside lawn and garden department as the money from my corporate severance package had run out. My wife was only able to work part time as well as myself. My job search for over a year was fruitless. We cut everything we could from cable, yard service, no more going out to dinner, we reduced our health, life and car insurance but it was not enough. I had to bring in something even though I had military retirement and my VA disability to cover my bills and help my family. It was a hard landing for us as our great retirement plan went array.
Jarmon was solemn. He didn’t want to listen to my shtick I did in one form or another to sell BBQs to people. “Are you guys Bar-Be-Queuing this weekend? I wore a vest which represented military service to show to customers the corporation liked Vets. I pretty much knew he was Military because of our interaction and demeanor. Like a soldier knows an officer in or out of uniform. He said: “Thank you for your service but I’m not interested”. I said: “Thank you for your service”. He said: How did you know? I said, “I was in for 23 years so I know”. He laughed, and said; “What’s your my VA rating?” I told him, and he said; “you should be at 100”. I said: “I’ve heard that so many times but that’s just not a thing I want to do. He said, hey stupid this is not a gift or charity, and it’s not you scamming the government. This benefit is for your family and a grateful Nation, so get over yourself and help them. I laughed and said; “how are you so sure?” He said; “I work for the VA and this is what I do”. I advise veterans about this”. He said; “come to my office and I’ll help you”. I said: “Let me think about it”.
Regaining my composure I finally came back to the office. Jarmon, the Veteran Benefits Officer had tears in his eyes. I was scared something terrible had happened and I immediately internalized that it was something I did, or my wife told him I was a bad person as my mind went straight to the dark side.
My wife looked at me which meant to sit down. I did. Jarmon said he was upset and sad because the story my wife recounted about me was his story. He did not want to file. He did not want to appeal. He did not want to get help along the way. He was in a downward spiral. After several years someone out of the blue told him;” Hey stupid this is not a gift or charity, and it’s not you scamming the government. This benefit is for your family and a grateful Nation, so get over yourself and help them. In the long run you will get better for doing this.
I heard this before several times over the years, but that day and in that way it resonated. Hearing a CSM speak to me like when I was a dumb PVT back in 1988 again made it stick. “Tough love” is a good thing!
I appealed my claim 11 years after my first decision. Six months later and three one hour appointments I received my decision.
Now, my daughter will have the ability to go to a school of higher learning or vocation for a minimal sum. We will not have to pay property taxes allowing my wife not to work. The stress of getting care for my wife who suffers from liver cancer has been lifted. I can spend more time helping others in different ways while helping myself too.
I hope this true story helps any Veterans out there that need a good talking to.
Find the strength to do the right thing.
Embracing Change: Finding Inspiration in a Banyan Tree’s Resilience
It’s been ten months since I left my stable, high-paying, high-level, yet unfulfilling job. Since then, my journey has been a rollercoaster ride filled with unexpected twists and turns. I’ve worked part-time as a call center agent, started my own business, worked as an independent contractor through my business, been let go once, and quit another job. And now, I find myself working part-time at a giant home improvement store in the inside lawn and garden section while continuing to explore the possibilities of my Company. If you had asked me last year if I would be doing any of these things, I would have emphatically said, “NO WAY.” But here I am, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I chose the photo above because it reminds me of my youth. It’s an image of a majestic Banyan tree with Seagrapes growing below it. Back in Miami, during my childhood, I used to play under a giant Banyan tree in the park across from my elementary school. It was there that I learned how Bahamians make wine and enjoy the berries from the Seagrape tree. But beyond the personal recollection, there’s a deeper connection that this image brings to my life and my business journey.
The Banyan tree, with its sprawling branches and roots, is an incredible symbol of resilience and adaptability. It expands and increases its likelihood of survival by sending down roots from its branches, serving as both anchors and sources of sustenance. This remarkable ability to adapt and thrive in challenging conditions is something we can all learn from, and it’s a central theme in my entrepreneurial journey.
Of course, just like the Banyan tree, life isn’t without its vulnerabilities. The same Miami where I played beneath that giant Banyan tree was hit by Hurricane Andrew in 1993. One of the casualties of that devastating storm was the Banyan tree across the street from the first home I lived in. This tree was a behemoth, as tall as a three-story house, and when it fell, it was just as imposing on its side. It took two years to remove its hulking body, and the spot where it once stood was left barren.
The lesson here is clear: even the mightiest can face adversity. The Banyan tree, with all its strength and resilience, succumbed to the forces of nature. But what’s remarkable is that the spirit of that tree lives on as a symbol of adaptability and the ability to bounce back from even the most significant setbacks.
In my own journey, I’ve encountered moments of vulnerability and uncertainty. The transition from a stable corporate job to part-time work, entrepreneurship, and various employment changes hasn’t been easy. But like the Banyan tree, I’ve learned to adapt and seek sustenance from unexpected sources. I’ve drawn strength from the belief that embracing change and taking calculated risks can lead to personal and professional growth.
So, if you’re at a crossroads in your life or career, consider the resilience of the Banyan tree and its ability to flourish in diverse conditions. Embrace change, take risks, and remember that in vulnerability, there is room for growth. Just like that Banyan tree in the park across from my childhood school, you too can weather the storms of life and continue to thrive.
