Blog Archives
Understanding LinkedIn Connections: A Reflection on Bias
As a lifelong learner and someone who prides himself on asking tough questions—of others and especially of myself—I recently posed one I hadn’t considered before: What do my LinkedIn connections say about me?
At first glance, the question might seem simple—just a casual curiosity. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized it held a mirror to my worldview, my network, and even my decision-making process. After all, our professional circles say something about how we seek advice, what we value, and—whether we admit it or not—how we perceive credibility and leadership.
So, I did what I’ve done my whole life investigated.
What I Found: A Familiar Reflection
The results were humbling, if not entirely surprising. My network largely looks like me: white, male, and with a military or law enforcement background. Not wrong, not intentional—but also not reflective of the broader society I serve or want to understand better.
This is the core of unconscious bias—it isn’t malicious or even deliberate, but it quietly shapes how we see the world and, in turn, how we act in it.
What I’m Doing About It: Intentional Inclusion
I believe in action, not just awareness. That’s why I’ve made a change to my daily habits. Every day, until I hit LinkedIn’s weekly connection limit, I intentionally send connection requests only to women—diverse in background, career, and experience.
I don’t overthink it. I see the picture and I click “Connect.”
No agenda beyond expanding my view of the world. My hope is that by increasing the diversity of my network, I’ll increase the diversity of thought I’m exposed to—and in doing so, improve the quality of the decisions I make, the advice I take, and the work I do.
Why It Matters
LOUJSWZ INC is committed to helping people grow—businesses, veterans, individuals—through integrity, process improvement, and purpose-driven consulting. But growth has to start with self-awareness.
This isn’t a story about checking a box. It’s about building a network that challenges me, reflects the real world, and ultimately makes me better at what I do—because I see more of the people I serve.
I still have a long way to go. But that’s the point of growth—it’s never over.
#UnconsciousBias #InclusiveLeadership #GrowthMindset #LOUJSWZ #VeteranOwned #LeadershipEvolution
Bridging the Gap: From Intimidation to Connection
It’s not every day that someone looks you in the eye and says, “I thought I wouldn’t like you after reading your bio,” or “Your LinkedIn profile intimidated me.” Yet, lately, I’ve been hearing these statements more often than I’d like to admit. At first, these confessions caught me off guard and gave me pause. I’ve always prided myself on being an “open book,” but apparently, the book people are reading isn’t what I intended to write.
The disconnect between how I perceive myself and how others perceive me has been humbling. It’s made me question: What is it about my profile—or me—that comes across as reserved or even arrogant? Why am I unintentionally creating a barrier that keeps people at arm’s length? And, more importantly, how can I change it?
Putting My Best Foot Forward… or Putting Up Walls?
I’ve come to realize that my efforts to put my best foot forward might unintentionally project arrogance. In trying to showcase my skills, experience, and personality, perhaps I’m overcompensating. Maybe the confidence I aim to exude comes across as unapproachable or intimidating instead.
This isn’t a new critique. I’ve heard it before in different contexts, and it’s something I’ve struggled to reconcile. My intent is never to alienate, but somehow, my presentation creates a gap between who I am and how others perceive me.
The Act: Magoo the Trainer and Life of the Party
At Orangetheory Fitness, I created a persona named “Magoor” after my now-deceased cat Head Trainers Cat. Magoo is my comedic alter ego. He tells stories, cracks jokes, and works the room like a stand-up comedian. People love Magoo because he’s energetic, fun, and engaging.
But here’s the thing—it’s just an act. Magoo is a shield, a carefully constructed character who can navigate social situations with ease while keeping my true self safely tucked away. I’ve learned to use humor and charisma as tools to connect with others without having to let my walls down.
Even when I think I’m being authentic, I realize I’m often holding back. Vulnerability doesn’t come naturally to me, even though I long for deeper, more genuine connections.
Becoming More Approachable
So, how do I fix this? How do I let people see the real me instead of the polished persona? How can I exist in a way that allows others to see and receive me as I am?
Here are a few ideas I’m exploring:
- Lean Into Vulnerability
Authenticity starts with vulnerability. It’s okay to share the less polished parts of yourself—your fears, doubts, and imperfections. These are the things that make us human and relatable. - Focus on Listening
Sometimes, being approachable isn’t about projecting your personality; it’s about creating space for others to share theirs. Listening more and talking less can help bridge the gap. - Reassess How I Present Myself Online
My LinkedIn profile and professional bios are tools to showcase my achievements, but perhaps they need a softer touch. Adding personal anecdotes or highlighting values might help convey a more balanced picture of who I am. - Embrace Stillness
I’ve often felt the need to “perform” in social situations. Learning to simply exist without trying to control or shape the interaction is something I want to practice. Letting go of the need to manage perceptions might allow people to see me more clearly.
The Silver Lining
Despite these initial impressions, the people who’ve shared their honest feedback have become some of my closest allies. These connections remind me that authenticity, even when it feels messy or uncertain, has the power to transform relationships.
I’m committed to breaking down the walls that keep me from being fully present and approachable. It’s a work in progress, but it’s a journey worth taking. After all, the best connections happen when we let others see us as we truly are—flaws, quirks, and all.
So, here’s to letting the real me shine, and to learning that sometimes, the walls we think are protecting us are the very things keeping us from the connections we crave.
Let’s see what happens when we take those walls down—one brick at a time.
