Every morning, I bring her breakfast in bed
Every morning, I bring her breakfast in bed. Whatever she wants—peanut butter on a waffle, an apple, crispy bacon, a bowl of raisin bran, sous ve eggs—I make it. Most days, she’ll stick to the same thing for days, even weeks. It’s a small thing, but it’s the least I can do for all she endures.
She can’t walk anymore. The electric wheelchair gives her about an hour and a half of mobility before the pain forces her to lie down. The cancer has spread to her bones. Yet, somehow, she still smiles. She still refuses to give up.
Breakfast has always been my favorite meal. Now its much more than that, its a check in with a smile still here.
Posted on August 14, 2025, in Caregving, and tagged #caregiving, #love, #resilence, life, mental-health. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.
Thank you for so eloquently sharing what it’s like to be a caregiver for a very ill or disabled loved one. My heart goes out to you, Sherri and the kids. I hate that y’all are having to navigate this. I’m a wife of a paraplegic who also suffered a career-ending stroke the week Covid shut down the world. After being married for 20+ years, I can second how isolation can be a real grind and the challenge of social/emotional support.
Broken systems – I agree someone needs to shake up ‘policy.’ I’ve learned how anti-patient insurance companies tend to be. We had to rely heavily on HSA and private savings while my hubby could still work just so he could get the medically necessary equipment he must have for daily health and independence.
Being paralyzed from a car accident and unable to walk since he was 21, he’s grown used to the endless red-tape and hours of jumping through hoops for the most reasonable requests. However, I still cringe and have to remember to pray and give it up to God. Since his serious stroke 5 years ago, I now handle all of that because he cannot. Thankfully he’s now on Medicare and some DME is covered with a more reasonable co-pay.
Yes, it’s appalling – the upside down support when faced with surgery or serious illness/disability and needing DME. The kind of things that they KNOW WILL LIKELY BE necessary for rehab or ‘normalcy’. I think we could have written a book for educating family doctors, surgeons and health care staff if we’d been able to document all those conversations. The medical field is surprisingly NOT knowledgeable when it comes to mobility stuff and daily assistive devices.
Again and again, we see and hear how there’s little foresight or plan for ‘after the surgery’ if someone is trying to go home vs. to a rehab hospital. Caregivers are left scrambling in the hour of need as you described.
The other odd thing we learned years ago is that most hospital bathrooms – the doorway into the toilets – are not wide enough for a wheelchair (!).
Caregiver Tips-
Keep putting your oxygen mask on and look for ‘windows’ of social time as a caregiver . . . you need this as much as your children and your beloved who is facing the health challenge. Try to get out even if it’s just a couple of hours a week.
Find a hobby you can do at home- something that sparks creativity and gets you into flow . . . and has nothing to do with caregiving. Give your cognitive and mental wellness a boost as you get lost in that enjoyable activity.
Press in to God as many moments a day as you need. Let Jesus carry you and let the God of Heaven’s armies dispatch angels for your earthly and spiritual battles. He longs to provide us such – just ask.
PUSH -Pray Until Something Happens!
Give my love to Sherri. Been remembering y’all in my prayers.